Into the Unknown

Last week, while Bojo took to his stage, I waited with bated breath that finally the day was here. He was going to give us the date we all so desperately craved. I was going to be back in my beautiful shop, seeing all the faces I have so desperately missed these last few months. Yet when this long-desired date was presented to me, what did I feel? In all truth, I felt hollow.  

Confused by this feeling, I logged onto Instagram to see how others were feeling. Presented with lots of (let’s face it) hilarious GIFS and memes of people dancing, hugging, with their loved ones and depraved aims for their first taste of Bacchanalian revelry in June. It further made me question what the hell my reservation was. It took me back to something author Matt Haig had said a year ago when lockdown had first become a reality. He very wisely reminded us that “these are not normal times, you don’t have normal expectations of yourself, don’t beat yourself up. We are in the middle of a global pandemic. Allow yourself to exist rather than achieve.” I then realised that this moment was just this season’s sourdough starter, and while many found making bread served a very comforting purpose, others found the expectation to be proactive wildly stressful… whilst paralysed with fear and uncertainty. 

And now here we are, a year in. Institutionalised slightly by the safety of our home after a year of being conditioned to fear the outside world. Is it simply a case of better the devil you know?  

As the days have passed, of course excitement has started to creep in for 12th April (when the shop reopens) but I really wanted to reach out to you all and say that if, like me, you have reservations and fears, that’s ok. We will put on our positive pants and gradually recondition ourselves into this new way of living. The post-pandemic world will start to become familiar and we will adapt to the new changes. Because, if we are the lucky ones, we have survived a global pandemic.  

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